This is perfect
7.18.19
The Scene: Very busy doorway entrance in Manhattan Mall in Herald Sq. It’s a cut thru to the subway.
What happened?: Approach the door but this poor guy was on the other side of the door and decided to be polite and held the door open for someone to go ahead of him, and about ten other people streamed past him like he was the doorman… he was stuck.
So like any respectable top-hatted gentleman, I stopped before I came in the other way to avoid a situation where I opened up the floodgates form the other direction of more dbags flowing thru and sentencing this dude to hours of playing butler these dbaggers like they own him.
In my pause, I gestured for him to come thru and gave him the combination look of sympathy, and also the look of sympathy, and also the look of recognition that I too, as distinguished gentleman, had understood what it was like to take up temporary residence in the douchery.
At that moment, we were one.
Anyways, he comes thru the door before me. I am clearly waiting for him to pass so I can go thru, when two asshats jump my place in line in the queue, from my side to launch themselves thru the door ahead of me. I said loudly, “Really?”
One guy hung his head in shame and the other didn’t give a singular shit.
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05.29.19
The Scene: Customer Service Call
What happened?: I’m tired of customer service people that are overly nice. I don’t need to hear ‘Thank you Mr. Kam for your address. Would you give me your email address? Thank you very much Mr. Kam for that information. Now can you give me the number where it’s best to reach you? And thank you for that information. Now would you…
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Welcome to The Douchery!
03.28.19
The Scene: Email
What happened?: Ok so something I don’t like…when people type Thx instead of Thanks.
I mean at that point use the extra three keystrokes to complete the entire word, and going deeper “thank you” is so much better even still. I don’t think they really mean it when it’s Thx. Feels more of an obligation then a sentiment
Like….”ooooh I am soooo busy that i can’t even stop to say a proper thank you.” You are below me and should be doing this shit anyway so why the hell should I really thank you.
It’s an FU thank you.
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Welcome to The Douchery!